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我需要补习中文!苏教版四年级(上册)第十课〈田园诗情〉

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11#
发表于 2007-11-6 15:11:57 | 只看该作者
思路清晰vs思维跳跃?
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12#
发表于 2007-11-6 18:31:43 | 只看该作者
  
  中学时老师作文课总提醒
  文似看山不喜平

  如果不是议论文或者应用文
  则文法是比较宽松的
  文无定法
  越是奇特的文章越有人看

  特别是文学作品
  如果都能用套子套
  作者的艺术生命就在一棵树上吊着了


  比之于论坛发贴
  吸引人眼球的绝对不是合文法
  俺象俺们吃美食
  直接感觉就行了
  能分清营养成份的是少数美食家
  特有营养的不一定好吃 
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13#
发表于 2007-11-6 19:01:23 | 只看该作者

回复 #1 dawnch 的帖子

不赞成老易的观点, 不过觉得老虫应当细细体会中西文化的不同, 虚简与实繁之区别, 这在文法上也是如此, 中华文化艺术如文人画、书法、诗词表现手法莫不如此,不可以硬套西方的标准来要求。“意”的表现在我们传统文化里是很重要的。。。。。。

前几天去听那杨大师的美的演讲,本来02觉得他老了嘴巴是不是管不住了,虽然干巴巴地他还是道出了中西美感的区别,广度上比范大师的中式眼睛看世界要宽些。
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14#
发表于 2007-11-6 19:06:28 | 只看该作者
原帖由 klcz2002 于 2007-11-6 19:01 发表
不赞成老易的观点, 不过觉得老虫应当细细体会中西文化的不同, 虚简与实繁之区别, 这在文法上也是如此, 中华文化艺术如文人画、书法、诗词表现手法莫不如此,不可以硬套西方的标准来要求。“意”的表现在我们传统 ...

看来这场演讲确实值得听,02这句话虽然不干巴巴,倒也道出了中西美感的区别
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15#
发表于 2007-11-6 19:15:51 | 只看该作者
学生时代,学写作文,学了太多的套路:
说明文和应用文,特别是机关应用文,有太多的规则和套路,包括行文用语,文头使用,落款等等。
议论文,语文老师讲议论文写作,也是有套路的,如何提出论点,组织论据,进行论证,最后得出结论。
记叙文写作也是有套路的,记得老师卖力地讲这三种类型作文的区别和套路。
最没有套路的,应该是抒情散文,需要的什么借景抒情、托物言志,形散神不散啊等等。


现在看网文,最讨厌的是学院派的正经文字,喜欢个性化的表达方式。

但,对于选入教科书的文章,还是应该严谨些,能经得起推敲些。
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16#
发表于 2007-11-6 23:21:03 | 只看该作者
跟中文,英文没有关系。英文的文学作品怪诞的更多。后现代文学就是从西方发源的,你看他们的文字,会惊叹天下还有这么一种写作方法。

老虫的这个问题有点莫名其妙。知识面不会这么窄吧?
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17#
发表于 2007-11-7 00:52:45 | 只看该作者
难得这次和小E有了共同语言。

散文的特点就是“形散而神不散”,所以上面的文章看上去似乎很散乱(其实同意小E的观点,那个“也”字是表递进关系的),但始终是围绕着“荷兰的田园诗情”来说话的。

另,从文章的题目来看,第一段的“也”字是表递进关系的。

我们看这篇文章的时候,感受到的确实是那种田园的宁静和诗情画意,脑海中浮现的更多的是一幅中国水粉画,也似乎可以嗅到那淡淡的夹带着水汽的青草香味。

个人觉得这个世界是多元化的,如果什么事情都按照造机器或者做实验那样一板一眼,步步都按SOP来,那这上世界就成单色、平面的了。这样的世界。。。。
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18#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-11-7 13:48:01 | 只看该作者
我的文学素养不是一般地差,知识面不是一般地窄。
我不知道这篇课文是不是“文学”,是不是“说理文”,但我就觉得它工整、有序。
除了词藻堆砌这点,我觉得这是一篇好范文。








还有下面这篇,截选自 Kimberly Willis Holt 的儿童小说 Dancing In Cadillac Light (在卡迪拉克灯光里舞蹈)
语言生动精彩,结构也很有章法。

看看是不是“八股文”?

In the kitchen, Momma lined canning jars on the table while a pot of stewed tomatoes waited on the stove. At the sink, Racine wiped a dish with a cloth as she wiggled to a song on the radio.
Even though I was only ten months older than Racine it might as well have been a hundred, because Racine had a hole in her head as big as Texas. She was one hundred percent female. She had a butt-twisting walk like the teenagers down at the park’s lodge even though she was only ten years old. She wanted dancing lessons more than anything in the world. I believe Racine would have given up Christmas for tap shoes and lessons at Lynette Logan’s Dancing and Baton-Twirling School. I’d rather drive.
“Move over,” I told her.
She cocked her head to the side, blinking her eyelashes. “What do you say?”
“Move over or I won’t help you with the dishes.”
“How about ‘Pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top’?”
“How about I go back outside and let you do the dishes by your pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top self?”
Momma sighed. “Enough.”
Racine snapped her tongue against the roof of her mouth and scooted a few inches to the left. She tucked a strand of her thin brown hair behind her ear. That was another thing different about us. Racine’s silky hair hung straight like the models’ on magazine covers. Mine waved and turned frizzy like a Brillo pad at the slightest hint of rain.
The phone rang and Momma glanced at the clock. Eight o’clock on the dot. Aunt Loveda. After Grandpap moved in with her family, Aunt Loveda called Momma every morning at eight, griping. Momma got where she could set her watch by Aunt Loveda’s call. The telephone barely rang the second time before Momma answered, “Hello, Loveda. What is it today?”
It was just about everything. One day Aunt Loveda complained that Grandpap walked through the neighborhood fetching everyone’s mail and bringing it to their door. Grandpap had been the mailman for twenty years in Moon, but Aunt Loveda said people who lived in nice, fancy neighborhoods didn’t take kindly to anyone opening their mailboxes, much less touching their letters and bills. Some grumpy old neighbor down the street even threatened to call the FBI or the CIA.
Last week Aunt Loveda marched into our house, swinging her hand bag with a gloved hand. Her teased brown hair looked like a football helmet. After plopping herself on our old couch she announced that Grandpap dug up half her yard to grow her sugarcane. With quick breaths between words, she kept patting her chest with her hand. “I, ah, declare, ah I ah, don’t know ah what ah to do!” I would have bet my prized squirrel tail that she was going to have a heart attack right smack in our living room.
Momma stayed calm while Aunt Loveda talked. The she asked, “Is it going to hurt anything to let him have a little garden? He’s always planted some sugarcane.”
Aunt Loveda took one giant breath, then released it. “But Arlen, I’ve planted an English rose garden for teas and luncheons.”
“Poppa dug up your roses?”
“No, but how can you have a sugarcane crop growing ten yards from an English rose garden? That would be tacky!”
Momma had always listened as Aunt Loveda went on and on, but today Momma’s forehead wrinkled as her ear pressed to the telephone. She said, “Loveda, we can’t do that.”
I heard Aunt Loveda’s muffled squawking coming from the phone. She sounded like a chicken getting its neck wrung.
“But Loveda,” Momma said, “we always swore we’d never do that to Momma or Poppa.”
Squawk, squawk, squawk.
“But---” Momma never got to say another word because Aunt Loveda had hung up. Momma stared at the phone in her hand.
“When did Aunt Loveda want now?” I asked.
Momma glanced my way and frowned. “Jaynell, be careful or you’ll break that dish. We only have four left as it is.”
She didn’t drop one hint about what Aunt Loveda said, although I could tell she was fretting about it. She plumb forgot about canning the tomatoes and started sweeping the floors.
Daddy came home from the ammunition plant for lunch and I finally learned what Aunt Loveda had said. I heard every word from beneath the open window on the screened porch. And once in a while I even stole a peek. I would make a great spy.
Daddy leaned back in his recliner, balancing a plate of red beans and a slice of white bread on his lap, while Momma sat on the edge of the lumpy couch, looking down at the floor, wringing her hands as she unraveled the story. It seems Grandpap had told Sweet Adeline that if she didn’t quit stuffing rock candy in her mouth, she’d look like Porky Pig. And everyone knew Aunt Loveda couldn’t handle anyone criticizing her precious babies.
The whole time Momma talked, she looked down at the floor. She always did that when she was fretting or when she was around other people outside our family. Finally, she looked up. “Loveda thinks we should put Poppa in a nursing home.”
My heart sank. My Sunday school class visited an old folks home once to sing Christmas carols. That place smelled like pee and cough syrup. Our teacher, Mrs. Geiger, told us to be “real sweet” to those old people, but they seemed out of their minds, sticking to us like flypaper, begging us to sing more songs. Even though we visited months ago, I could still see their pale, bony fingers reaching for me. Grandpap didn’t belong there. He belonged back at the homeplace.
“Why on earth does Loveda think that?” Daddy said with a mouthful of beans.
Momma turned her head, staring out the front window. “She’s convinced that Poppa is turning crazy and mean.”
I didn’t think what Grandpap said about Sweet Adeline sounded crazy at all, just honest. After all, she was already the squattiest ten-year-old I’d ever seen.
“What if she’s right, Rollins?” Momma asked.
Daddy scraped his fork across the plate, moving around the bean juice.
“I couldn’t bear to see him like that again,” she said.
Again? What did Momma mean? The only crazy person I’d ever known was Betty Jean Kizer. The night her son died, she’d cut off her hair and danced naked outside, howling at the moon. I couldn’t picture Grandpap doing that. Now Betty Jean lived in the backwoods. Every once in a while we caught a glimpse of her in town, walking around with a blank look on her face, snarled hair and a pack of pigs following her.
“I don’t know what to do,” Momma said.
Daddy sat up straight and wiped his chin with his napkin. “You know exactly what we have to do.”
I wondered if Daddy meant Grandpap should go to the old folks home, but after lunch, he announced, “Jaynell, you’re going to have to move in with Racine for a little while. You need to make room for our Grandpap until he’s ready to go back to the homeplace.”
Now I felt like I was going crazy. Living that close to Racine was sure to give me the urge to shuck my clothes, dance bare naked and howl at the moon. But at least Grandpap would be safe with us.
As Daddy headed to work in his old pickup, I heard the low groan of the gravel truck making its way down Cypress Road.
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19#
发表于 2007-11-7 13:53:57 | 只看该作者

回复 #18 dawnch 的帖子

中文的应该是说明文

英文的应该是记叙文,不算8股

而楼顶的是散文

不一样

我个人认为,学习的时候,什么文都要接触到,写写散文没什么不好.考试的时候,还是考8股比较好.评分标准好定义,也少争议.

问题是,我们的教育是为了应试而应试,如果只考8股,估计学校就只教8股
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20#
发表于 2007-11-7 14:22:32 | 只看该作者
感觉济南那篇不算说明文吧, 说明文不太会用那种华丽的辞藻吧. 应该也算是散文的一种.这种结构是比较明晰, 但也会觉得稍微有些无趣.记得有篇课文叫 苏州园林, 标准的说明文.

前面02说的我很赞同, 中国文化讲究意境什么的, 有了章法四平八稳的可能未必有意境之美, 好象颜体的字我就是不大喜欢的, 还是狂草来得漂亮, 但是一般人学写字还是正而八经写比较好, 否则没人能看得懂. 所以赞同老虫教孩子写文章最好是挑些结构比较明晰的范文. 但是光从结构是否明晰来判断一篇文章好不好恐怕也是不合适的.
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