【转帖】精彩推荐《信任是教育的一个准则——访孙云晓》

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align="center"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">◎精彩推荐《信任是教育的一个准则——访孙云晓》</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align="center"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">采访</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">\</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">张纯颖</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">父母对孩子信任上存在问题会影响到孩子的成长</span> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"></span> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">张：前不久中国青少年研究中心做了个调查，其中有这样一个结论：孩子对父母最大的希望是父母信任自己。这反映出很多孩子认为父母对自己不够信任。这种不被信任的感觉从何而来呢？</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">孙：在孩子的成长过程中，中小学生这个时期，信任与不被信任呈现出非常突出的矛盾。我认为一个突出的现象就是父母什么事情都要包办代替，越包办代替就越不相信孩子的能力，就越不信任孩子。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">很多父母觉得孩子什么事情都做不好。孩子哪怕是拿个碗、出去打个醋他都不放心。孩子交友他就更不放心，干涉特别多，会问：这个人学习好不好？是男孩子还是女孩子啊？家里是什么样的家庭啊？爸爸妈妈都是干什么的？你为什么跟他好啊</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">这样的父母不相信孩子有自己的判断力。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">还有的父母对孩子的学习不放心，总觉得孩子不努力，不认真，没有上进心。包括孩子看电视、上网、看书，有时父母也会不放心，你看什么电视呢？看什么书呢？上网就更不放心了。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">其实孩子有孩子的理解，孩子有孩子的态度，也有自己的原因、方法。父母都忘记了自己小的时候也曾经有种种让父母不放心的原因，太急切地想让孩子快点成长、成熟。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">1996</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">年我们做中国城市独生子女人格的调查，那个时候就发现，多数孩子绝对相信父母很爱自己，半数以上的孩子也认为父母总是鼓励自己，但是只有三四成的孩子认为父母理解自己。这说明什么呢？父母对孩子的爱远远高于理解。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">我们可以看组数据：认为妈妈很爱我的占</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">89%</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">，但是认为妈妈相信我的就降低为</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">54.8%</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">；爸爸很爱我占</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">81.9%</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">，但是很信任我就降到了</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">54.2%</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">，降了</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">30%</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">多。这就说明父母对孩子的爱远远高于对孩子的信任。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.57"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Ti