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DARWIN AWARD: IN A PIG’S EYE
Confirmed by Darwin
4 JULY 1991
Three Eaton men died from a fatally flawed plan on the evening
of July 4. James, Billy, and Ashley were killed after their
blue Ford pickup rolled over on Country Road 24. Hogs and
alcohol were contributing factors to the accident. “We found
several beer cans in and around the scene,” said Sheriff
Andrew Watson. The driver had a blood alcohol content
twice the legal limit.
The events unfolded as follows:
The three men spent the national holiday drinking. Later
that evening they were struck with a sudden craving for
pork chops. “They were popping off fireworks when Jimmy
said they ought to go get some eats,” reported Billy’s girlfriend,
Emma. At 11:00 P.M. they drove ten miles to a pig
farm, intent on stealing a hog and satisfying that craving for
pork chops.
One of the men scaled the fence and tied the end of a
rope to a plump quadruped. The other two men started
pulling on the four-hundred-pound beast. The stress of a
struggling hog was too much for the six-foot chain link
fence, and a fourteen-foot section collapsed loudly, startling
the other hogs into a stampede.
“I was asleep when I heard this godawful noise,” explained
the owner of the farm. “I run out of the house with
my shotgun and shot off both barrels in the air, and yelled at
them to go get on out.”
The friends loaded up their stolen pig in a hurry, tied the
rope to the truck, and sped down the county road in excess
of ninety miles per hour. Unfortunately they forgot to
buckle their seat belts. The pig, on the other hand, was
strapped in by its leash.
Three miles down the road, the animal began making a
commotion in the back of the pickup truck, causing the vehicle
to careen wildly. The swerving lurches threw the pig
from the back of the truck, and it was dragged along the dirt
road for about half a mile.
Distracted by the commotion and impeded by the friction
of the pig, the driver hit a soft shoulder and rolled the
truck forty feet, ejecting all three men from the vehicle and
killing them. The victims were discovered at 5:00 A.M. by a
passing motorist.
Police caution motorists to drive sensibly on dirt roads,
wear seat belts, and refrain from drinking while driving.
The pig lived.
Reference: Eaton Express Weekly |
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发表于 2010-7-6 08:33:37
