Home school or change to other childcare?

jenny2004

宝宝现在三岁四个月。

孩子小的时候由爷爷奶奶在国内带大，因为安全第一，宝宝大部分时间都困在老家，性格内向且敏感， 男孩子却比较爱哭。两岁半后由我接手，特别腻我。虽然幼儿园已经上了半年了。一直没有适应。经常晚上做噩梦。自己分析了一下，有如下原因：
1）性格
爷爷奶奶本身性格内向，奶奶爱哭。宝宝性格爱哭，胆小。从不主动和人接近。
2）语言
爷爷奶奶的普通话都不是很标准，而且强烈反对双语教育，说以后宝宝会忘了中国话。
幼儿园的学习是以英文为主，在我的帮助下，宝宝现在的英文进步很快，可以交流，可是他胆小的性格让他不敢和老师交流。他只是一个幼儿园中的observer.
3）学校
这儿的制度，每年年初升级，宝宝刚适应，又在年初变成了nursery 2 的学生。加上春节期间我们因为家人来访，几乎没去幼儿园。 他又开始了重新适应期。
nursery 2 老师严格，nursery 1 老师友善
4）朋友
由于孩子是班上唯一的中国人。他又不擅于交流，在幼儿园几乎没有朋友。

宝宝的优势：
1）细腻
宝宝因为性格内向，心思特别缜密，特别懂得照顾人。而且特别能察颜观色，不过一看见别人脸色不对，他就容易哭。
2）好学
我每天只能有一个小时的home school 教他，他学得非常快。
3）爱干净，听话
虽然是男孩，衣服总是干干净净的，勤洗手。

心酸的是每天接宝宝回来，他都兴奋地说个不停，经常大笑。周末更加，围着我大笑，经常hug 我说， mommy， i love you，very very much。 每次我和他home school 他就会说，mommy， 你要是我的老师该多好。让我总有放弃一切，做全职妈妈的冲动，可惜经济不允许。

这些天，一去幼儿园，晚上睡觉就要哭，怎么办呢？？？

傲傲妈

homeschool might not be that expensive than you think, especially when living overseas. have a close look of the real cost of you going to work, e.g. child care cost, lunch money at work, extra time to hire baby sitter if necessary... compare with your net income, you might find it's not that different.
your child is only at this age, and from the sound of it, there is a lot of bonding to be done, as he is living away from you for a few years.
you will find that once you have rearrange your life, to make him the priority (after your husband), your child's self confidence level will increase. once that is firmly established, you can then move on the next stage, be it continually homeschooling or otherwise.
remember whatever he is showing, it is a signal. the sooner you deal with it, the better, and the less chance that it will become a behavior problem when he is older.

jenny2004

thanks very much. I really agree with:
"you will find that once you have rearrange your life, to make him the priority (after your husband), your child's self confidence level will increase. once that is firmly established, you can then move on the next stage, be it continually homeschooling or otherwise. "

since i am trying to spare more time just on him, he learns very fast and now he can communicate and even tell us the stories in English, Kids are amazing. the wierd thing is : whenever i am around, he would be confident. if i am not around. he is still the observer. maybe time can solve this problem gradually.

I am moved by his songs" I love you., you love me, we are happy family. with a big hug and the kiss from me to you. wont you say you love me too." and his chinese song/" 当我们在一起，在一起，快乐无比。你对着我笑嘻嘻，我对着你笑哈哈，当我们在一起，在一起。快乐无比。:" with his sweet words。" i love you very very much". and his sharing," it is really fun with mommy."

"remember whatever he is showing, it is a signal. the sooner you deal with it, the better, and the less chance that it will become a behavior problem when he is older." now i really agree. parents decision links with the kid's personalities and future directly.

whatever i really have fun with my little ones these days. but sad to see that his daddy cares more about the money. Man consider more on the career and money, Woman cares more about the happiness of the family.

thanks again.All the best!

zyfh

Usually kids living away from their parents tend to be shy and less confident. Since he is only three, it's better for you to home school, to stay with him all the time. Hugging, kissing and all the physical contact will increase his sense of security. Take him out to meet people, he will be bolder with you. If you talk to him in English, he will be better prepared for future primary school.

jenny2004

thanks for the above comments. i do appreaciate it.

we may live oversea for more than 10 years but i plan to send him back to china or other countries once per year to widen his horizons.Honestly, I prefer to work part-time currently to make sure that i can accompany with him more while he is young though i will earn less and lower welfare.

nuturing a good and healthy kid is a huge project. Just want him to have a happy and enjoyable life.

huich99

好羡慕楼上各位的英语，运用自如。俺得借助字典才能了解大概。
    jenny2004 是一位为子着想的好妈妈。非常赞同“want him to have a happy and enjoyable life”，特别是对小孩。我们在国内，幼儿园的三年，是孩子们最后的快乐三年了。上小学后，可能各方面的压力会向小孩和家长涌来。没办法，中国人太多，竞争太激烈了。
    傲傲妈 和 zyfh 的回复也非常非常有价值！我常提醒自己，也同太太沟通，我们要尽可能有更多的时间同孩子呆一起，一起唱，一起跳，一起跑，一起看故事书，一起……这才是其乐融融的一家，这才能让孩子更多地感受到来自家庭的温暖。  我家是公子，小时候特腼腆，连楼下邻居小妹妹主动伸出手来拉他，他也要把手往背后缩。后来，我常在周末带他坐公交车，他很开心，现在好多了。

jenny2004

thanks for the compliments.

need to cherish the family time more. kids cherish this a lot as well.

while i am along with him, he is always smiling and laughing and very open-minded and i found that he gains his confidence gradually these days and we got a lot of positive feedback from childcare. i am proud of this. glad to see that all the time and efforts are rewarded now.

i will keep at striving. try to spare more time with my cute son and glad to have this forum to share and listen to the suggestions from each aspect.

I need to dig out more and learn more from here.

thanks.