【讨论】反思情商教育

阿门

最近读了一篇文章《丑陋的中国大学生》，该文总结当代中国大学生（包括硕士和博士研究生）逃避思想、调侃正义、及时行乐、追求物质享受、追求短期效益（出最少的力获最大的利 ），表现在日常学习和生活中有：1、政治的冷漠与投机 ；2、学术精神的失落； 3、道德素质低下； 4、生理和心理的缺憾； 5、缺乏艺术情趣等五大特征。

中国的社会环境（包括教育环境）提供了太多了素材将人变世故了（所谓的高情商），甚至象Education2008等教育专家都提出了“教育孩子的最高境界是学会不受骗”、并将自己陪领导干部下棋以得到重用标榜为情商高。因此我认为孩子情商的培养交给目前的社会和教育就可以了，我们家长最重要的是让我们的孩子保持思想的纯净，培养高远的理想（土了吧，现在谁还谈理想），保持好奇心以及探索事物的激情。也不知对不对，请大家指正。

Qmom

Top Ten Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids
by Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC
Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children is the best
way to ensure that they live a happy, successful, and responsible life as
an adult. Here are ten ways to help your kids attain a high degree of emotional
intelligence:

1. Model emotional intelligence yourself
Yes, your kids are watching very closely. They see how you respond to frustration,
they see how resilient you are, and they see whether you're aware of your
own feelings and the feelings of others.

2. Be willing to say "no" to your kids
There's a lot of stuff out there for kids. And your kids will ask for a
lot of it. Saying no will give your kids an opportunity to deal with disappointment
and to learn impulse control. To a certain degree, your job as a parent
is to allow your kids to be frustrated and to work through it. Kids who
always get what they want typically aren't very happy.

3. Be aware of your parental "hotspots"
Know what your issues are-what makes you come unglued and what's this really
about? Is it not being in control? Not being respected? Underneath these
issues lies a fear about something. Get to know what your fear is so you're
less likely to come unglued when you're with your kids. Knowing your issues
doesn't make them go away, it just makes it easier to plan for and to deal
with.

4. Practice and hone your skills at being non-judgmental
Start labeling feelings and avoid name-calling. Say, "he seems angry," rather
than, "what a jerk." When your kids are whiny or crying, saying things like,
"you seem sad," will always be better than just asking them to stop. Depriving
kids of the feelings they're experiencing will only drive them underground
and make them stronger.

5. Start coaching your kids
When kids are beyond the toddler years, you can start coaching them to help
them to be more responsible. Instead of "get your hat and gloves," you can
ask, "what do you need to be ready for school?" Constantly telling your
kids what to do does not help them to develop confidence and responsibility.


6. Always be willing to be part of the problem
See yourself as having something to do with every problem that comes along.
Most problems in families get bigger when parents respond to them in a way
that exacerbates the problem. If your child makes a mistake, remember how
crucial it is for you to have a calm, reasoned response.

7. Get your kids involved in household duties at an early age
Research suggests that kids who are involved in household chores from an
early age tend to be happier and more successful. Why? From an early age,
they're made to feel they are an important part of the family. Kids want
to belong and to feel like they're valuable.

8. Limit your kids access to mass media mania
Young kids need to play, not spend time in front of a screen. To develop
creativity and problem-solving skills, allow your kids time to use free
play. Much of the mass media market can teach your kids about consumerism,
sarcasm, and violence. What your kids learn from you and from free play
with others will provide the seeds for future emotional intelligence.

9. Talk about feelings as a family
State your emotional goals as a family. These might be no yelling, no name-calling,
be respectful at all times, etc. Families that talk about their goals are
more likely to be aware of them and to achieve them. As the parent, you
then have to "walk the talk."

10. See your kids as wonderful
There is no greater way to create emotional intelligence in your child than
to see them as wonderful and capable. One law of the universe is, "what
you think about expands." If you see your child and think about them as
wonderful, you'll get a lot of "wonderful." If you think about your child
as a problem, you'll get a lot of problems.

Having a high IQ is nice, but having a high "EQ" is even better. Make these
ten ideas daily habits and you'll give your kids the best chance possible
to be happy, productive, and responsible adults.

Qmom

阿门+-->引用:阿门 中国的社会环境（包括教育环境）提供了太多了素材将人变世故了（所谓的高情商）

会搞些人际关系就是高情商？？我和楼主对于情商的定义大不相同。

阿门

jjhs+-->引用:jjhs 这个文章揭示了一个社会现象，同时也有人性的方面。坏事情不要在其他人身上找原因，大家都是构成社会的元素，自己做的怎么样，难道一点反思也没有吗？

家长在这方面尤其要注意自己的榜样作用。

好！除了榜样作用外，是否有合适的方法主动影响小孩呢？

jjhs

这个文章揭示了一个社会现象，同时也有人性的方面。坏事情不要在其他人身上找原因，大家都是构成社会的元素，自己做的怎么样，难道一点反思也没有吗？

家长在这方面尤其要注意自己的榜样作用。

亨利

垃圾还是垃圾，自我感觉好有什么用

阿门

赞同jerryhao主要靠父母的说法。
但我们具体应该怎么做呢？矫枉过正是否会引起冰河所担心的情况。

jerryhao

yuhongmin+-->引用:yuhongmin 别说大学生了，现在很多小学生都让人咋舌。能做得只有：心痛并无可奈何地适应着！可能这就是代沟吧！

社会的素质就差，一般很难培养出合格的孩子来。寄希望于让他读几本书，或者学校的说教，简直就不可能。孩子的性格形成，主要靠父母了。可惜现在的父母更关心的是孩子学什么鬼知识。

yuhongmin

阿门+-->引用:阿门 我们能做些什么呢？

别说大学生了，现在很多小学生都让人咋舌。
能做得只有：心痛并无可奈何地适应着！可能这就是代沟吧！

阿门

我们能做些什么呢？