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为你开启幸福之门
2007年08月28日09:52![]() 英 | 大 | 中 | 小
并不是买张彩票，就能拥有幸福。
我总是痴迷于那些对人类幸福进行的学术研究，因为它们能把我们为之头疼不解的问题解释得如科学般严密而准确。我们会以为财富的多少是与一个人的幸福程度成正比的，但研究显示，美国人如今对生活现状的满意程度不比三十年前高多少，要知道当时的生活水平是远远不及现在的啊。
那么，如果财富无法增加人们的幸福感，什么能呢？通过对“幸福”的研究，我们列出了下面七大关键因素。要增加人们的幸福感，不是没有办法──但仅有鼓囊囊的钱包是不够的。
1. 关注那些真正重要的事。
并不是收入越高就越感觉幸福。但如果被问及对生活的满意程度如何，高收入群体给出肯定回答的几率往往会比较大。
为什么会如此？因为这个问题会引发他们去思考自己的社会地位，从而意识到自己其实是非常幸运的。从中可以看出：如果你有一套重量级的资产或是一份丰厚的薪水，时不时地想想自己的好运吧，这也许会提升你的幸福感。
而如果你不是“大款”，就尽量避免那些让你感到财不如人的情况，想想那些人无我有或是人有我优的东西。还有，与其在富人区里买幢最便宜的房子，不如和那些与你生活水平相当的人住在一起。想知道自己到底身价几许时，别去想家境殷实的姐姐，多想想一贫如洗的哥哥好了。
2. 拒绝单身。
研究发现，已婚人士的生活要比单身一族幸福。
英格兰华威大学(Warwick University)经济学教授安德鲁•奥斯瓦德(Andrew Oswald)指出，婚姻给人们带来了两种幸福之源，“性福”和友谊，它对人类的影响是无可估量的。
谈到友谊，与朋友的相聚也能提升你的幸福指数。研究表明，日复一日的上下班是生活中最无趣的活动之一，照看孩子也是一项苦差，虽然我们不愿承认，而享受美味则算得上是人间一大乐事。
但所有这些如果有了朋友的陪伴，趣味性就会明显提升。与人结伴同行会让行程没那么乏味，如果和另一个大人一起去逗孩子，你会更容易发现其中的乐趣所在，而相比独自进餐，与他人共享美味也会让你更加乐在其中。
3. 幸福感源于安全感。
人到中年往往容易缺乏幸福感。这或许是因为身处不惑之年，中年人上有工作压力，下有子女等待抚养，这让他们觉得似乎无法掌控自己的生活。
相比之下，身居高位者、退休人士以及那些端着铁饭碗的人，他们大都过得十分幸福。对此有一种解释，那就是他们对自己的日常生活有着较好的掌控能力。
奥斯瓦德教授谈到，一个人幸福与否，与其是否拥有足够程度的安全感有着千丝万缕的联系。他指出，老板要比下属感觉幸福；那些成天担心失业的人，这种忧虑情绪对他们的精神健康来说是一个大大的减分，而那些不愁工作不保的人，这种积极的情绪则是一个大大的加分。
4. 用每一次进步鼓励自己。
虽有研究显示我们喜欢玩、不喜欢工作，但这并不表明工作就总是让人烦心的。如果工作驾轻就熟，而且能感到自己就是这个工作的一份子，我们还是很喜欢这种感觉的。
加利福尼亚大学(University of California)圣迭戈分校的管理学教授大卫•施卡德(David Schkade)说，工作当然也有好坏之分，如果你常常在工作中找到一种归属感，这对你来说就是一份好工作。
但施卡德教授也指出，工作的真正乐趣或许在于我们事后所体会到的成就感。“我们知道，进步会让人觉得开心，因此你所规划的人生应该能让你享受到这种进步感。”
工作还有一个好处，它能让你更加深刻地体会到闲暇时刻的甜美与惬意，施卡德补充说。这也许就是为什么位高权重者在退休之后抱着放松休闲的目的外出游玩，但每每却是乘兴而去、扫兴而归的原因吧。
5. 放慢追求物质的脚步。
在追求进步的过程中，加薪、豪华跑车和彩票中奖都是我们为之奋斗的目标。
可是，一旦得到了梦寐以求的东西，我们的不满之心很快就又会被其他的物质欲望撩拨得蠢蠢欲动，随后便开始新一轮的物质追逐。学术界对此有一个专门术语──享乐水车或是享乐适应症。
我们或许可以慢下这种不断追求物质享受的脚步。如果我们出去庆祝一下新近的晋升之喜，这种喜悦之情将持续得更加长久。如果我们去年买了新房，不妨停下来欣赏欣赏这个新家，这或许能帮你找回最初的兴奋。
我们还应该想想如何花钱才有意义。与商品相比，经历带给我们的幸福感似乎更能持久。
比如说你买了辆新车，这个曾经一度带给你骄傲和快乐的宝贝最终在你眼中会变成一堆破旧轮胎外加发出阵阵怪声的废铜烂铁。但如果我们把钱用于和朋友聚餐或是与家人度假，这些经历会成为你的美好回忆，而且随着时间流逝，这些往事会变得愈加珍贵。
6. 适应挫折。
虽然适应性在我们身处顺境时会让我们很难停下追逐物质利益的脚步，但当我们身陷逆境时，它却能成为生活的拯救者。假如好友离世，我们会觉得以后的生活不再会有笑容，此时人的适应性会帮你度过这段痛苦的岁月。
奇怪的是，如果一个人遭受了一场重大打击，而且事情已经到了无法挽回的地步，那么当事者的适应速度会更快。如果我们突然残疾，这时的适应速度可能反倒会极其惊人，但如果我们的配偶是个邋遢的人，我们也许永远不会适应。
原因之一在于，我们总觉得自己的配偶还是有机会作一个清爽利落之人的。
7. 赠人玫瑰，手有余香。
如果你愿意的话，做做好事，或是与人为善，这常常会让你无比开心。
纯粹利他主义？不，这似乎是人类的一种古老本能。《都是基因惹的祸》(Mean Genes)一书的作者之一、波士顿基金经理特里•伯恩汉姆(Terry Burnham)指出，在古代社会，行善之举是会受到奖励的。
“美德已在我们心中深深扎根，因为我们知道美德是会获得回报的，”他说，“在小型社交圈中，人们都明白作一个好公民的好处，一旦践踏法律，将会受到严厉的惩罚。”
不管我们的真实动机如何，与人为善总是件好事，而且它还可以让我们觉得更加幸福。
Jonathan Clements
What's at the Heart of Happiness?
2007年08月28日09:52![]() 汉 | 大 | 中 | 小
No, happiness isn't a lottery ticket away.
I am fascinated by academic studies of human happiness, because they bring scientific rigor to issues we all grapple with. We think more money will make us happier and yet studies suggest Americans are no more satisfied than they were three decades ago, when the standard of living was much lower.
So if winning the lottery won't do the trick, what will? Here are seven key lessons from happiness research. It is indeed possible to boost our happiness -- but it'll take more than a fat wallet.
1 What matters is what we focus on.
Those with higher incomes aren't necessarily happier. But when asked how satisfied they are with their lives, high earners are more likely to say they're happy.
Why? The question makes them ponder their position in society -- and they realize they're pretty lucky. The implication: If you have a hefty portfolio or hefty paycheck, you can probably bolster your happiness by regularly contemplating your good fortune.
Meanwhile, if you are less well off, avoid situations where you feel deprived -- and seek out those where comparisons are in your favor. Rather than buying the cheapest house in a wealthy neighborhood, settle for a town where people have similar salaries. When you think about your net worth, forget your well-heeled sister and focus on your cash-strapped brother.
2 Don't go it alone.
Studies have found that married folks are happier than those who are single.
'Marriage provides two sources of happiness,' says Andrew Oswald, an economics professor at England's Warwick University. 'One is sex and the other is friendship. Marriage has one of the largest impacts on human well-being.'
Similarly, spending time with friends can boost happiness. Studies indicate that commuting is one of life's least enjoyable activities, that looking after the kids is more of a struggle than we like to admit and that eating is one of life's great pleasures.
But all of these things can be enhanced by adding friends. Commuting with others will make the trip less grim, playing with the kids will be more fun if there's another adult along and eating with others is better than eating alone.
3 We like to feel secure.
Midlife is a period of relative unhappiness. This dissatisfaction may stem from the lack of control felt by those in their 40s, as they juggle raising children and the demands of work.
By contrast, employees in senior positions, retirees and those with good job security often report being happy. One explanation: They have greater control over their daily lives.
'There's a profound link between insecurities of all kinds and human well-being,' Prof. Oswald notes. 'Supervisors are happier than those who are supervised. Job loss is an enormous negative and job security is an enormous plus to mental health.'
4 We enjoy making progress.
Studies suggest we prefer leisure to work. But that doesn't mean work is always a source of unhappiness. We like the feeling of performing a job competently and being in the flow of work.
'There are definitely better and worse jobs,' says David Schkade, a management professor at the University of California at San Diego. 'If you're in the flow more often, that's going to be a better job.'
But Prof. Schkade says work's real pleasure may come from the sense of accomplishment we feel afterward. 'We know progress makes people feel good,' he says. 'You should design a life where you have that feeling of progress.'
Work also has the benefit of making leisure seem sweeter, Prof. Schkade adds. This may be the reason seniors who set out solely to relax and have fun are often disappointed by their retirement.
5 We adapt to improvements.
In pursuit of progress, we strive for faster cars, fatter paychecks and winning lottery tickets.
Yet, when we get what we hanker after, we quickly become dissatisfied and soon we're lusting after something else. Academics refer to this as the 'hedonic treadmill' or 'hedonic adaptation.'
We may, however, be able to slow the process of adaptation. If we go out and celebrate our recent promotion, we will hang onto the good feelings for a little longer. If we bought a house last year, we may recover some of the initial thrill by pausing to admire our new home.
We should also think about how we spend our money. It seems we get more lasting happiness from experiences than goods.
If we buy a new car, it will eventually go from being our pride and joy to being a scruffy set of wheels with an irritating rattle. But if we spend our money on meals with friends or vacations with family, we will be left with fond memories that may grow even fonder with time.
6 We also adapt to setbacks.
While adaptation can work against us when good things happen, it saves us from misery when bad times strike. If a close friend dies, we imagine we will never laugh again. But adaptation rides to the rescue.
Oddly enough, it seems we adjust more quickly if a setback is large or irreversible. If we become disabled, we will likely adapt with surprising speed. If our spouse is a slob, we may never get used to it.
One reason: We figure there's still a chance our spouse will change his or her slovenly ways.
7 We enjoy behaving virtuously.
If we volunteer, give to charity or behave politely, we usually feel pretty good.
Pure altruism? It may, instead, be our ancient instincts kicking in. Good behavior paid big dividends in ancient societies, notes Boston money manager Terry Burnham, co-author of 'Mean Genes.'
'Virtue is built into us because virtue was rewarded,' he argues. 'In small-scale societies, where you are well known, there are rewards for being a good citizen and severe punishments for being a rule breaker.'
Still, whatever our true motivation, behaving virtuously is almost always a good thing -- and it will likely make us happier.
Jonathan Clements
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发表于 2007-8-30 13:51:23
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