美国幼儿园老师愤怒了：让我来告诉你4岁孩子应当懂些什么！【转】

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美国幼儿园老师愤怒了：让我来告诉你4岁孩子应当懂些什么！

我最近在学校家长网上布告栏是看到一位妈妈的留言， 她担心她4岁半的儿子懂的不够多。她这样写道：“4岁的孩子应该会什么？”

大部分的回复让我不仅觉得很难过，而且相当恼火。有一位妈妈罗列了一大堆她儿子会的事情。比如会数到100，了解行星，会写他自己的姓名等等。其他家长们也留言附和他们的孩子也懂的很多，有的孩子只有三岁。有几个人甚至在上面张贴相关的网页链接，不外乎什么年龄应该会什么等等。只有少数的几个人说每个孩子的发展进度不一样，不用太过担心。

这些回复十分地困扰我。他们给这个担忧的母亲列出了所有自己孩子会儿她的孩子不会的东西。我们生活在这样一个竞争激烈的文化里，甚至于我们的学龄前儿童已经开始追逐奖杯和炫耀。童年不应该是一场竞赛。

所以，我在这里提供了我认为一个4岁的孩子应该知道的东西。

• 她应该知道她总是被完全无条件地爱着。
• 他应该知道他是安全的，他应该懂得如何在公共场合、和别人在一起和在突发的情况下保证自己的安全。他应该知道谁是可以信任的人，如果他认为不对的事情他可以不做，不管是谁让他做。他应该知道他的人身权利，而且知道他的家人会无条件支持他。
• 她应该知道怎么笑，怎么闹，怎么搞怪和发挥想象力。她应该知道即使把天空画成橙色，给猫画上6条腿都没有问题。
• 他应该知道自己的兴趣并被鼓励发展它们。如果他对学习数学不太感兴趣，那么他的父母应该意识到，他在不久的将来也能学会，何不让他就沉浸在火箭船、绘画、恐龙和玩泥巴的世界里呢。
• 她应该知道这个世界是多么的神奇，她也是。她应该知道她是多么的美好、灿烂、充满创造力、热爱生活、富有同情心和奇妙的。她应该知道花一整天在户外做花环、做泥饼和搭童话屋比练习拼写要更值得，十分值得。
  
  

更重要的是，家长们需要知道些什么。

• 每个孩子学习走路、说话、阅读和算术都有他自己的速度，这跟他/她将来学得有多好没有太大的联系。
• 最能让孩子将来有高学分的事情就是给孩子阅读。不是学习卡片，不是练习册，不是多高级的幼儿园，不是闪亮的玩具或电脑，而是父母每天早上或晚上（或两者），坐下来给他们读精彩的图书。
• 成为班里最聪明最有成就的孩子不一定就最快乐。我们想给孩子提供帮助，但却让他们陷入了跟我们一样繁杂而充满压力的生活漩涡。我们能给他们提供的最大的支持便是给他们一个简单而无忧无虑的童年。
• 我们的孩子应该被书籍、自然、美工和探索包围。我们大多数的人可以尝试放弃90%的玩具，而孩子们并不会想念的。但有些东西是重要的：组装型的玩具像乐高和积木，创意型的玩具如各种手工艺术材料（很棒），乐器（真的和多元化的），扮演角色的服装和各种各样的书籍，是的书，还是书。
• 他们也应该自由地探索下面这些事情：当我们准备晚餐时，他们可以坐在儿童椅上玩豆子（当然，得有大人监督）；他可以用小铲子揉面包捣乱，在厨台上用刷子玩面团，即使弄得哪哪都是。在后院给他们留一块地方他们可以任意地挖草刨地。
• 我们的孩子更多需要的是我们。我们已经变得很善于说我们更需要照顾好我们自己，甚至把这当成一个借口，让其他人照顾我们的孩子。尽管我们都需要私人的空间，与朋友聚会，需要有效的休息，需要偶尔放下父母的身份。但我们的孩子更需要父亲坐下来用心倾听他们的生活，需要母亲跟他们一起做手工，需要我们给他们讲故事和跟他们一起犯傻。他们需要我们在春夜里陪他们散步，即使他们还只是蹒跚学步的幼儿。他们完全可以跟我们一起准备晚餐，即使这会使完成时间延长一倍。
• 他们应该了解，他们永远是我们心里的第一位，而且我们真心爱和他们一起共度美好时光。
  
  

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原文：

I was on a parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was worried that her 4 1/2 year old did not know enough. “What should a 4 year old know?” she asked.

Most of the answers left me not only saddened but pretty soundly annoyed. One mom posted a laundry list of all of the things her son knew. Counting to 100, planets, how to write his first and last name, and on and on. Others chimed in with how much more their children already knew, some who were only three. A few posted URL’s to lists of what each age should know. The fewest yet said that each child develops at his own pace and not to worry.

It bothered me greatly to see these mothers responding to a worried mom by adding to her concern, with lists of all the things their children could do that hers couldn’t. We are such a competitive culture that even our pre-schoolers have become trophies and bragging rights. Childhood shouldn’t be a race.

So here, I offer my list of what a 4 year old should know.

She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.

He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn’t feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.

She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs.

He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he’ll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.

She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she’s wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvellous. She should know that it’s just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that– way more worthy.

But more important, here’s what parents need to know.

That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra.

That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books.

That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children “advantages” that we’re giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood.

That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. Most of us could get rid of 90% of our children’s toys and they wouldn’t be missed, but some things are important– building toys like lego and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up clothes and books, books, books. (Incidentally, much of this can be picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.) They need to have the freedom to explore with these things too– to play with scoops of dried beans in the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard where it’s absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit.

That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids. Yes, we all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That’s not okay! Our children don’t need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US. They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that they’re a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.

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shwyyan

这老师说的是真好，就是不要随便的愤怒，这样指不定会伤到谁。

zhu88long88

看了文章，感触蛮深的，是我们不懂爱，是我们怎样做父母，以后少发怒，平常心看孩子！

Martina-Mm

我现在最不后悔的，是0~6岁花了大量时间陪孩子玩。

果儿萱

陪着孩子一起成长是家长的一种幸福.我很庆幸我有这种幸福.

悠悠

看到大家在群里讨论，儿教为什么这么冷清

我很高兴有人关注我们的冷清。
也很高兴看到这种反对早教的文章，在儿教一篇一篇的贴出来，有市场。
的确是小众。

因为，关注孩子如何学习、学好的父母，多半会去积极的寻找各种路数，以孩子学成为目标。
真正关心孩子的身心发育，愿意在养育孩子的过程中“叛逆”自己自小受到的传统教育方式，努力寻找更科学的教育方法，这样的路走起来非常艰难（因为不符合经济效益，这方面的文章总会湮没于大众化的“哈佛女孩”、“卡尔维特”之类的出版物里连个泡都很难冒出来）。
这样的小众，能有个地方碰头，努力与孩子一起成长。。。
嗯，冷清一点，我觉得也蛮好。

helenminliang

悠悠 发表于 2013-11-8 16:30
看到大家在群里讨论，儿教为什么这么冷清

我很高兴有人关注我们的冷清。

你还真的说到我心上去了，我在想，啥时候儿教热闹了，我估计就不愿意在这里了，都是水，找不到自己想看的东西了。

这里的妈妈，有的是孩子很牛的，自己难得有时间上来聊天，有的很空，会胡思乱想一些东西，哈。孩子的教育，我还是觉得要“顺”，快乐的心灵，是人生的永远动力，不会怨天尤人，不会去伤害别人和自己。

你带来的幸福

谢谢分享
打印下来了
希望有些东西能进到心里